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General >> It Life
Do Not Quit!05/20/2008 09:48 PM | .jpg "Do Not Quit!") Do Not Quit!
"Don't Quit!"
When things go wrong as they sometime will. When the road you travel seems all up hill. When the funds are low and the debts are high. When you want to smile but have to cry. When care is pressing you down a bit. Rest if you must, but don't you quit!- Author Unknown
Persevere- "To persist in any purpose or enterprise; continue striving despite difficulties."
During the interview portion of the pageant I was asked which parent I was more like, my mother or my father. This was easy for me because I am just like my mother. My mother was extremely competitive and encouraged me to be competitive also. I like to joke that my mother would have a contest to see who could fart the loudest ( no offense) and bet money on it! I was raised to be a natural competitor and so I got my first insight into myself at that point.
It was said that pageants bring out the best in you and stretch you in ways you will only understand when they happen. Today I had understanding.
As you all know, I am a person in recovery. I lead an NA group which I attended tonight. As I listened to my group members share, the head and heart parts of my self began to line up. You see, another question I was asked during the interview was "What is the secret to happiness?" This was an easy question for me because my honest thought is that the secret to happiness is to pursue your passion with passion. I told this to the judges. It was not until today that I realized I have not been pursuing my real passion and that the pageant is an extension of this real self trying so hard to emerge.
I have wanted to pursue my doctorate in Clinical Psychology for as long as I have been in school. It was a natural progression, Associates, Bachelor of Arts, Master of Arts, Doctor of Philosophy. After I got my Master's degree, I applied to a school but was not accepted. I then became sidetracked by pursuing my professional licensure. There was a major glitch there because once again, I had pursued the wrong goal. That has been a pattern of mine. Substituting what I think is a more attainable goal for the one that I really want. It never works and just wastes a whole lot of time.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love pageantry and modeling. I love the thrill and adrenaline, and excitement. I love deciding which walk to use with which outfit. I love smiling so hard my face feels like it's about to fall off. I love it all. But that is only one facet of me. I am also a person who loves research and writing. As you can see by my blogs, writing is something I enjoy immensely. I just had my first article published last week. Having people read my article was exciting! I am so proud of my work. As you can also see by my platform, I really love helping people. How many other pageant queens do you know of who will admit to being in recovery and speak openly about it? My platform was not just something I cooked up so I could have something "deep" to say at the pageant. I live the program and have been doing so for three years. Put all of these traits together and you get a Ph.D.
I thank God for fasting. I thank Him that he hears my prayers even when I don't verbalize them. I am happy to have a place to talk and vent my feelings. I'm hopeful that someone out there who is struggling with drug dependence will read my heartfelt words and actually seek recovery.
I am still Mrs. Southeastern Michigan United States and I will continue to lead women into recovery from substance dependence. I will continue to be a role model and I will continue to compete. See you out there!
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