Last night some friends and I were talking about various advice our mothers and grandmothers had offered us over the years, and it got me thinking. Here' s  five of the most helpful things my grandmother told me about life, love and looking fabulous.

1. Always wear nice underwear--even if there' s no way in hell you' re getting any tonight. The thinking behind this is that if you get hit by a car/faint/cut yourself in a horrendous bagel accident and taken to the ER, and say, Patrick Dempsey has to undress you, you look good--even if you are covered in blood.

2. Unrequited love may seem all romantic and moony-- but it sucks. Like really, really sucks. It' s not worth your time or energy, and eventually you' ll find that what you really want is a good, solid, practical, there-for-you-no-matter-what kind of love.

3. Even if  you are in the very depths of despair, the throes of a quarter life crisis, the midst of a stressful time at work., ALWAYS take care of your hands--moisturize, trim, file, and polish. I mean it. My grandmother says a woman who doesn' t take care of her hands is not to be trusted; and it' s a fact that it' s the first thing may people notice about you.

4. Go to the Estee Lauder counter on your fourteenth birthday, and get them to tell you whether you are a spring, a summer or winter, and purchase your first make-up accordingly. Anyone who wears make-up before they are 14 is a tramp. (her words)  Also on your fourteenth birthday, someone should give you a freshwater pearl necklace.

5. You really shouldn' t wear elastic waist pants all the time.

(Title is a line from Barbara Kingsolver' s Animal Dreams , just to cover myself from the copyright police)