What is more of a stylistic barometer than our hair? If we are a mess--professionally, emotionally, spiritually--it' s likely our hair is too. More than a chic outfit, more than a designer handbag, hair is often the basis of snap judgments and first impressions. . If a woman can' t control her hair, how can one expect her to control the rest of her life? It' s unfortunate, then, that I-- the oldest child, an admitted control freak--ended up with the hair of a bag lady.

            My wavy-straight-curly-frizzy hair derives, I like to think, from some blue- painted, bare-breasted warrior chieftaness somewhere in my family' s Celtic past. It is the hair of a pirate queen, a Gothic heroine or a flower-child, not a yuppified good girl. Where I am neat and reliable, it is disorderly and mercurial; where I zig, it zags. Guys never seem to grow out of the urge to tug on the springy curls, just to see what will happen. There was a period of existential angst and a run on tardy slips when I tried straightening my hair every day with a ceramic iron-- an endeavor which took upwards of an hour. Blow-drying sent my hair off in strange directions, and the straight-from-the-shower look made me look ready to play a Shakespearean madwoman. I found myself noticing that Natalie Portman actually looked chic with a shaved head--minimalist, modern. I wondered if I could pull it off. Then, my hair stylist, who, God love her, actually knows how to cut curls, smacked some sense into me and helped me work out a regimen that worked for me. This was what I finally settled on-- all my bag lady/pirate queen sisters can do what they will with the information.

Shampoo: Pantene Curl Defining Shampoo, and once a week, Neutrogena Clarifying Shampoo to get rid of residue that dulls and weighs down hair.

Conditioner: Pantene Curl Defining Conditioner-I apply it liberally and then rinse extra well to detangle without getting build-up.

Dryer: Towel-dry only

Product: If I shower at night, I get my hair as dry as possible, work a dime-sized amount of Garnier Fructis Curl and Shine Leave-in Conditioning Cream through it, then braid it loosely. I know that the hairstyling powers that be say this is terrible for your hair, but it’s the only way I' ve found not to wake up with a tangled, flattened mess.

Secret: In a plastic squeeze bottle, I mix equal parts of my regular Pantene Curl Defining Conditioner with an equal amount of Aussie styling gel. I take a small amount, rub it on my hands and work it through my hair from the ends. It creates loose, uniform waves, without the crunchiness of gel or the heaviness of some leave in conditioners. 

Now that I know how to handle it,  I wouldn’t change my hair--not even for Victoria Beckham' s sleek blonde bob or the long straight locks of a Pantene model. Because for all my tantrums and disastrous brushes with humidity, my hair is uniquely, genuinely mine, and reminds  me every day that it seldom hurts to be a little unconventional or a bit rebellious. And that' s something we could all-- blondes, brunettes and redheads-- stand to remember.