The ultimate reality show in the history of the world is The Olympics!  Who doesn't love to watch the emotional successes, the crushing failures, and the sheer excellence of the competitors?  Which is why it makes perfect sense to use it as the basis for a Project Runway challenge.  Except for the very minor detail that Fashion Designers are almost diametrically opposed to athletes in their self-expression.  But whatever.  Let's do this thing.

We open with gratuitous shots of all the designers looking haggard in their apartments as they get ready for the day.  There is plenty of rolling around in bed, staring groggily in the mirror, and application of cosmetics.  Suede uses the mirror in the hallway to put moisturizer on his nose. 

Heidi is on the runway.  Kenley gets to choose which model she wants to work with since she won last week's challenge with her granny-inspired bubble dress.  Kenley decides (very wisely) to stick with Shannon, who really is a perfect specimen of modelhood.  The designers are excused to go meet Tim. 

He leads them out to a set of vans and they all pile in like a bunch of kids on a field trip.  Tim asks Blayne how much time he spends tanning and Blayne reveals that, under optimum conditions, he goes every other day.  Then they arrive at The Armory Track and Field Center, which Suede describes as "Gi-normous".  Stella spots a "speed racer" skating around the track.  The inline skater zooms up and stops next to Tim who introduces him as Apolo Ohno, Five Time Olympic Medal Winner.  Apolo is actually pretty cute, a fact that doesn't seem to have passed by Blayne.

Apolo tells the designers they are going to design outfits for the opening ceremony of the Olympics.  Joe looks particularly stoked.  He interviews that he's watched the Olympics since he was 12. Terri says she is thinking "Classic Americana Sportwear".  Stella says she's going to design for a gladiator.  Daniel whines that he's into high end glamor and doesn't know what to do.  Boo hoo.

The designers scurry around Mood scrounging up red, white and blue fabrics.  Stella, however, is buying black fabric.  Keith snatches Terri's fabric and buys it before she had a chance to catch him.  She is not pleased.

Back at Parson's, Joe says, "Let the Fashion Games Begin!".  Ugh.  Stella interviews that designing clothing which represents America to the rest of the world is no joke.  Then the designers talk about their own athletic abilities.  Stella says she took four years of modern dance.  Leanne says she was a cheerleader and a gymnast.  Joe says he played football, and he is making a skort.  (gag)  Daniel said he went to boarding school and hates uniforms.  Blayne says he competes in Olympic tanning.  But the medals only go to bronze.  (BWAH!)

 Daniel asks Stella why she is making an Olympic outfit out of all black fabric.  Stella says that there are a lot of bikers who watch the Olympics in this country.  (Zing!)  Daniel and Kenley are acting inexplicably lovey-dovey and foolishly cavorting with each other in an elementary school crush manner.  Several designers interview about how irritating Kenley's constant squawk-laugh is. I have to concur. 

Korto interviews about her vision of the American dream which is based on her childhood as an African refugee who came to this country to escape the horrors of war in Liberia.  Wow.

Tim arrives to surmise the sitch.  Joe is in his element chattering excitedly about his skort, and earns praises for his work.  Tim says Blayne's outfit looks too "Sgt. Pepper" and Blayne says he doesn't know what that means.  (eek!)  Daniel is making a cocktail dress, and he's not sure if he should include a bolero because it makes it look like Wonder Woman.  Tim admonishes him to not "lose it".  Jerell is a man on a mission.  He's got an outfit that is all kinds of crazy, but I can smell what he's cooking.  Jennifer is making an outfit that looks like it belongs on Catholic School Girl.  And not in the sexy, Britney Spears way.

Daniel and Kenley discuss Daniel's dress.  Kenley tells him not to use the bolero.  And like a fool, he takes her advice.  THEN!  Joe comes up and confronts Daniel about using "his" sewing machine.  He's pissed because he wanted to use THAT machine.  THAT VERY MACHINE that Daniel is using RIGHT NOW.  Daniel argues that there was no way to know that that was the machine Joe wanted to use, and anyway, he's allowed to use any machine he wants.  Joe says there's too much drama because there are too many queens.  Joe is kind of a bitch, yo.  Suede says it's "Whackadoodle", and if he says that one more time, I'm going to whack HIS doodle. 

Dawn of the Day of the Runway!

In the light of the morning, Daniel's blue cocktail dress looks purple. He is a little concerned.  If I were him I'd just explain it was inspired by "Purple Mountains' Majesty."  Joe is confident.  He thinks he's going to win.  Jerell's outfit is insane.  Models go in to hair and makeup and Tim says that in five minutes they all need to "go go go!"

Aaaaaand it's time for the Runway.

Heidi is wearing something that looks like it was designed by Stella.  (twitch)  Jerell is wearing a Peter Pan hat.  I'm not even kidding.  Heidi introduces Michael, Nina, and guest judge Apolo Ohno. 

Cue Music!

Korto made an almost all white outfit of wide-legged linen pants, with a tank top and simple vest.  It's pretty smart.  Suede's was a short, flouncy navy blue skirt with white and red stripes on the bottom and a sleeveless, high-neck white top.  He says it would be perfect for the Olympic team.  Unless, of course, there are any men on the team.

Kelli designed a 1940's red, white and blue housewife skirt and shirt combo.  Meh.  Joe's skort and jacket looks pretty good.  It's definitely sports wear.  Leanne's garment is white shorts and a very snazzy sleeveless jacket with red and blue striped raised lapel.Daniel has a purple cocktail dress.

Jerell's outfit is awesome.  I'm sorry.   It has nothing to do with sports, the Olympics, or anything that will remotely win him this challenge, but I just love it.  It's a high-waisted pencil skirt with black leggings under it, a tailored blouse with beautiful sleeve detail, a scarf and a floppyish hat.  I'll admit, it's kind of costume-y, but I don't care.  I love it.  I just want to say that Jerell may not be good at following directions, but he has an incredible eye and furthermore, he has almost super-human abilities to turn out detailed work in a short period of time. 

Stella's outfit doesn't look too bad.  It looks kind of like club wear, though, with the bare midriff.  Keith's outfit is nice, too, even thought the skirt is a bubble.  It has a 1960's vibe with a long, tunic style sleeveless top, funky striped skirt and long blue and red scarf.  

Terri's looks awesome with one exception.  She's got these perfect pants and tailored blazer; however, underneath is a tube top (which is bad enough), and it actually looks like it is 4 sizes too small for even a model.  It's way too low and tight.  Without that, I'd say she hit a perfect 10.

Here comes Jennifer's model.  She's ready for a tea party with her little navy blue cardigan and pleated skirt.  Blayne's outfit looks like leisure wear that is sold on HSN and that would appeal to a sexy 50 year old woman.  Kenley's outfit is pointless. It's a purplish and white plaid skirt and white shirt.  Meh.

The panel praises Terri for being stylish, and tells Jennifer that she's missed the whole point of the challenge.  Joe is standing next to his model who is a whole foot taller than he is.  The judges like his outfit, although they aren't raving about it.  Daniel's cocktail dress is deemed totally  ridiculous.  Michael Kors asks if she's representing the Republic of Cocktail Land.  (hee!)  Korto's outfit, which is probably the least interesting of the entire bunch, seems to be the favorite. Nina and Michael laugh at poor Jerell who looks like he might cry and gosh I feel so bad for him. 

Top three:  Joe, Terri and Korto.  Korto wins, but I don't know why she beat Terri.  In my opinion, Terri's was infinitely superior and would translate beautifully to both male and female athletes. 

Bottom three:  Jerell, Jennifer, and Daniel.  Jennifer gets the axe for making Pollyanna-inspired Olympic wear.