Earlier this month, Cosmopolitan came out with a call for bikini chicks to help them break the beach photo-shoot record.

Join us as we attempt to set a brand-new photo-shoot record at the superhot Nikki Beach in Miami's South Beach on April 18, 2008. Grab a bunch of your friends (it's a great excuse for a road trip!) and be in the massive photo of chicks 18-34 we're taking on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean. You'll get lots of free loot just for showing up early! The first 1,200 people to arrive at the event will receive free bikinis from event sponsor Old Navy!  Then, stick around all day for manicures, beauty consultations, mini-massages, and more, while a DJ spins the hottest tunes. The aerial group shot will run in the August 2008 issue of Cosmo.

"We're going to break a Guinness World Records, and we're doing it in a big way," said Donna Lagani, senior vp, publishing director, Cosmopolitan Group. According to Lagani, their sponsors Old Navy and Nivea made multimillion dollar commitments.

Unfortunately for them, the record wasn't made. Why? Because it's South Beach, where women don't get out to the beach until noon... And no free products can make them come earlier. I think if instead of paying those multi-millions to Cosmo, the sponsors would pay to the chicks, the whole thing would actually work.

Another question I had for Cosmo is why women over 34 are not invited to their bikini photo shoots? Maybe Cosmo publishers think "older" chicks are going to ruin the photos with "saggy breast" and "cellulite"? This thought freaks me out a bit, as I'm just couple years away from their maximum age. I still consider myself looking pretty hot in a bikini, sorry Cosmo!!

I hope this was part of the reason many women decided not to show up and support this event. I know I wouldn't...