2008 was the kind of year that people look forward to, but at the same time, Hate. It was a year that opened people’s eyes, and invoked change.  The best way to describe it, but keep it way simple, is that, it “sucked in a good way”- I say this both on a national and personal level.

Nationally, we realized and saw the birth of something we dread to think about, but knew was coming deep, down in the back of our heads all along-we saw what it actually feels like when taking too much advantage of a good thing backfires ( which is always the case). One word: Recession, anyone?

Internationally, we realized the ruthlessness of people through the bombings in Mumbai, but at the same time, hope, as a repeat of September 11 on a grander, more chaotic scale unraveled before our eyes.

Nationally, Barack Obama, the first Africa-American president was elected, reviving hope in all of us that the country is open to change- and change for the better.  It re-defined in our minds and views what True America really is about, and it re-inspired the de-spirited youth of our nation to aim higher than that which we feel we are capable of, because we might surprise ourselves with our capacity to be the best.  It allowed us to embrace brilliance, and reminded us that once in a while-no-often, the underdog is on top. You just need to remain confident in that which you set out to do and brave all obstacles in the path to your goals because in the end, what you accomplish is what defines you- not the “speed bumps” along the way.

Similarly, on an international level, the Olympics inspired strength, ambition, and drive with each medalist and competitor dramatically, triumphantly crossing the finish line, and the impossible being accomplished, proving this year’s Olympics to be the most intense ever. Michael Phelps. Enough Said.

And personally? Well, where do I start?

On January 29, my grandmother passed away.  I felt lost in emotions of sadness and confusion. As I later on found out she had simply dropped dead in the shower from a massive and fatal heart attack.  Her dying words: “Oh, I should go take my shower, I hear it’s going to be cold tomorrow.”

At the time, it did not register in my mind that she was actually, physically gone.  I mean, how could a healthy person be there one instance, and then be gone in 30 seconds?  What an anticlimactic end for someone as great as Didan!

The whole loss seemed unfair. I was confused and shocked, and admittedly, still am.  I kept asking myself why, and in my confusion, I never found an answer to this question, and I forgot to take a moment to grieve.  I never shed a single tear for she, who was my life support, but you know, now that I think about it, she probably would have wanted it that way- no tears shed.  She probably would not have appreciate the sentiments of confusion and shock, however.

But I learned some very good lessons from this very large loss in my life: Don’t take those you care about for granted, and live each day as if it were your last because you never know when it is.

You may have noticed my making more of an effort to keep in touch, being more honest, and sometimes trusting my emotions more than my mind, more than before.  Now you know why.

 Life is a one-time shot, and we all know that, regardless of our beliefs in afterlife.  The only life you are sure of living, is the life you lead right now and today.  So, make the most of.  Take every opportunity that comes your way- Live and breathe in the moment because you never know when your last breath will be.

Loved ones are the pillars of your life, and you should treat them as such because you never know when you may lose one.  I never got a chance to thank my grand other for everything she did, or even say goodbye to her.  You can not even begin to imagine the sort of feeling I get knowing this- A mix of rage, bitterness, and sorrow has taken over my heart.  Don’t let this be you.  Say “thank you” right then and there when a loved one does something that helps you, never leave conversations on a sour note, and always let them know how much you love them.  So, let me be the first to say, my dear friend, thank you for all you have done, thank you for your existence, and I Love you- A LOT.

February made me realize how strong I can be, with news of a cousin attempting suicide.  As others sympathized, I found myself instilling logic in to people’s minds around me and giving them strength and peace of mind, but I learned a few lessons here too: Never judge a book by its cover and you never truly know how people will react in any given scenario until they are actually in it.

In May, I graduate from Monmouth University with a major in Communication, and a minor in business.  I started college, and this degree, with specific hopes and visions.  I saw myself working in New York for a huge company and moving out of my parents’ house, living near my friends, and having, perhaps in retrospect, too much fun.  But instead, I found myself unemployed, still living at home, feeling defeated and depressed.

During that time period, I gained over thirty pounds in 2 weeks, becoming the fattest I had ever been, and really, honestly, and truly had no desire to do anything about it because I felt defeated and saw no purpose in life.  Sadly, I felt like a loser, so I acted like one.  I saw a side of me I never want to see again.  I realized what it means to truly lose all hope, and to know I never wanted to be in that situation ever again in my life.  Once a loser, does not always meant the person must stay a loser.  You have the power to change the course of your life. It is your choice how you utilize this power.

I realized this in June.  I joined yoga classes and increased the intensity of my job search.  I lost twenty pounds, and by the end of June, found myself employed.  Thanks partially to my dad for use of his connections and support, but mostly to myself for changing my attitude and outlook on life. 

I stopped blaming the way things are on non-existent external factors, and used my inner strength to make things better- and so, I realized my fortitude and drive.

And finally, although not as important as all the other changing factors in my life anymore, I found myself connecting with people on a deeper level, relating their life story to mine, so much to the point where I found myself developing a crush on the most unlikely boy in the world.

Ok, So I have had many crushes, but this one was different.  For one, normally, when I develop a crush, I get over him in about 2-3 weeks (Call me unattached).  But then, this guy? Let’s see….I met him in March…..December…Yeah, 9 months.  And it was a roller coaster.

Before I go any further, let me describe this boy- Let’s call him Edward (for the sake of anonymity).  Well, Edward looks like the brown version of the guy who plays Edward Cullen from the movie Twilight, but acts like a five year old, basically.

He is actually incredibly complex.  Outwardly, he is as formerly described, but then once in a while, he’ll do things that are ridiculously sweet, say things amazingly deep and sincere, and just truly take me aback ad amaze me.  I guess I fell for what he is like five percent of the time.

In October, I asked him out, and he strung me along in his wicked game for weeks before telling me he just wants to remain friends and nothing more.  Well, you t h ink him being a jerk would be enough to quickly jolt me out of Dreamland, get a reality check, and get over him, but no.  Up until December 20 something, I found myself falling harder and harder, and deeper and deeper.  Maybe I’m a masochist.

But one thing I learned for sure was the true definition of unconditional, really pathetic love.  I got over it though, and now find myself even more cynical than I was before about the prospect and idea of love and romance.

So, ‘08 made me realize a lot of things about myself, and inspired me in to doing better things in life.

Although, I never actually keep resolutions, as I know that it will never actually get done if it’s a resolution, I have set some objectives for myself that will be accomplished in ’09.

Here we go:

1. Lose 20 pounds- standard girl goal, but here’s the twist-
2. Pursue Goals of modeling more intensely and seriously-How?
3. Continue Vegetarian diet
4. join/go back to hot yoga classes
5. join and (ab)use the gym
6. Save money-how?
7. stash $40 of each paycheck in a separate account never to used
8. pay bills on time
9. find a better job-preferably in New York City
10. Move out
11. find a higher paying job in the city
12. use networks
13. Keep in touch with people
14. call people back
15. send 2 e-mails a week to 2 different people just to say “hi”
16. Utilize Facebook/social networking sites to drop random messages to say hello
17. Find A hobby
18. Enroll in Indian Classical singing classes
19. Take piano lessons again
20. Go back to EBC radio
21. Sudhara-starting a nonprofit, finally launching it by 1/1/10
22. Billo-launching my blogs, and marketing them with more intensity
23. join 2 more nonprofits aside from Manavi and PETA
24. Take better care of my outward appearance
25. Get haircut every month
26. Eyebrows done monthly
27. Nails done bi-monthly
28. Partake in Live Strong Bike Ride
29. Not to Procrastinate
30. Make use of reminder calendar on phone and specific goals for the day to complete
31. Get Glamour shots done
32. Go to India
33. Learn to cook
34. Cook at least 2 recipes a month
35. (optional) Start dating and relationship searching
36. Stop being cynical about romance
37. stop finding faults in guys deep down I know are perfect for me.
38. Read more- At least one book a month
39. Be more in the loop about the news
40. Read New York Times Daily
41. Get a more grown up and sophisticated wardrobe
42. Prep for Law School
43. Take LSATS

That pretty much covers it for me.  I hope you all have a wonderful new year.  Let’s start ’09 with a bang