In cowboy boots, clean-cut dark-washed blue jeans, a blousy bronze button-down, green clunky jewelry, and au natural make-up with a flash of red lipstick, my college voice teacher knew how to dress.  Never mind that cowboy boots were so 2004, or that we all know blouses were designed to hide belly rolls.  No, she could walk into a room and own it.  Her swagger, her stance, her outfit, and even her lipstick were intended to set off her flash of bright red hair that just kept you staring long after she had left the stage.  She was well into her fifties when I studied with her, and yet I saw many of the male faculty give her a second glance.

But what did she have?  Women in their fifties aren’t supposed to be knock-outs.  Conventional wisdom says that men age more gracefully then women.  After all, George Clooney is more than desirable to a twentysomething like myself, but could Helen Mirren garner similar attention?  

My instinct immediately scoffs “no way,” but upon closer scrutiny, maybe she could (especially after that edgy, flattering, yet tasteful number she wore to the 2007 Oscars). Maybe beauty isn’t dictated so much by the rules of style, fashion, or sexual attraction but more by how you use those rules to accentuate your own assets.  

Take the female lead in My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  Even if you haven’t seen the movie, the initial premise is that the unmarried thirtysomething protagonist in question is wasting away working in her parents’ Greek restaurant.  She has big, bushy, untamed hair, sallow skin, shirts that are too baggy, and pants that unhelpfully emphasize her wide behind.  Soon after meeting her future love interest, we learn however, that she’s really a diamond in the rough.  She goes to a salon to get an expert cut, starts wearing make-up, changes to more flattering clothing styles, and - I bet - discovers the joy of moisturizer.  In short, she starts taking care in her appearance.

Now, those familiar with the film will note, she does not immediately drop thirty pounds, invest in plastic surgery of any kind, pay thousands of dollars to a stylist for a new look, or selectively wear pre-pubescent size 0 supermodel styles.  No, instead she works with what she’s got.  Her pants fit, her colors compliment, her hair bounces (just enough), and suddenly she’s pretty.  She’s desirable. Some might say, even beautiful.

We all know the old adage that beauty comes from within, but I would argue that beauty can usually use a helping hand to get out and strut its stuff.  Yes, there are some lucky people who will never have to worry about either inner or outer appearances, but the truth is most of us wax, moisturize, tweeze, pop, layer, cover and squeeze in order to put our best foot forward.  And why?  Sure, sometimes for vanity’s sake, but most of the time because it feels nice to look good.  People respond better to those who care for themselves and make the best of themselves.  We are attracted to those who exhibit aesthetic beauty not only for beauty’s sake, but also for the care that beauty represents.

In her fifties, my old voice teacher has passed her child-bearing years childless. She’s married twice, divorced once and settled happily with a cat.  She struts the streets in Western Massachusetts as opposed to those of New York or Paris, but she is still a beauty.  She takes pride in herself in fashions that are instantly visible to anyone around her.  Granted, it helps to have good bone structure, but it’s more important that she knows and uses what works for her - and thus what keeps heads turning as she saunters gracefully through middle age.